Old is relative and so is hard times

I met a 60 year-old lady at the airport and she and I got to talking and sharing little bits about each other. She was a hip lady - she was wearing boots with at least 2-3 inch heels, skinny jeans, was showing her bra with cleavage, and her hair was spikey. She was flying to San Diego where her son, his wife and kids live and she said that she can't stand the weather down there - she said that she doesn't like warm weather - she prefers the cool weather in the Bay Area. I always thought that San Diego weather was perfect and so I asked how she felt about Las Vegas weather. She had a real disgusted expression on her face and said "the last time I was there was 1968. I remember I was in my mid twenty's and didn't know a thing about the world. I can't believe how naive I used to be." Mind you that I did not reveal my age to her, but it's just funny that she specifically said her mid-twenties.

I was thinking "I'm in my mid-twenties?!" - someone can still look at me as a young & naive person - I'm starting to think a lot of things are relative - that there's always going to be someone who is older than you, less wealthier than you, has a harder life than you do - so really should just enjoy what we have =)

The sky REALLY is the limit

I think we can all agree that engineering is one of the most challenging majors. I know A LOT of smart guys that took 6 or 7 years to obtain their engineering degrees or gave up on engineering entirely - and these guys were exceptionally smart - they received high honors during high school graduation, got into good schools etc - but engineering is THAT difficult.

My cousin Jay however took about 4 years to graduate - and not only that - he did this while having 3 part-time jobs; he was helping with my dad's drafting business, he was a teller at Wells Fargo bank and he also had his engineering internship. Not only that but he had time for his friends which he remains great friends with till this day (he's now in his late 20's) AND he had his long-time relationship to keep up with.

Today: He continues to be successful. He has his coupe BMW, his new and awesome house in the suburbs and his boat which is his toy for water sports. Now, he is about to make his life even more complete by marrying his very long-time girlfriend who stood by him since he was at stage 1. The sky is his limit.

Conclusion: It's up to you how much you want to get out of life. Such accomplishments are obviously possible!

She was afraid of being alone

I know a girl who was afraid of being alone. She was afraid of not having a man in her life. She was in a long-term relationship - I forgot exactly how long they were together, but it's somewhere between 4 to 6 years. Although their relationship was long, it was not healthy - he was a bad guy. He couldn't keep a stable job, had bad credit, took drugs and cheated on her numerous times and because of her fear of being alone, she always forgave him (and he probably knew too that she would always forgive him). Although he was not good to her, she was set with him. At a young age, she married him and got pregnant to seal the deal that she would always have a man in her life. She may have been hoping that he would change after marriage and fatherhood, but nothing changed. Because of her new son, she got fed up with him not trying to be a good father and so she filed for divorce (in her early 20's).

Now, life is much tougher for her. Instead of being a single girl in her 20's (which is what a lot of girls I know are dreading), she's now a single-mother with a drug-user unemployed ex-husband in her 20's. After giving birth to her son, she did out grow her fear of being without a man. She is very much surviving single parenthood! =) For her son, she's a much stronger person now.

I know a lot of girls who are afraid of going through life without a man, but having no man is much better than having a bad man. True story.

If you need a little inspiration...

Another Sunday of reflection to start off the week!

If you need a little inspiration, watch the movie "Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith. It's a true story of true hardship and true perseverance.

People can change for the better...REALLY

I knew this girl prior to my moving to southern California in 2001. I didn't get to keep in touch with her in the last 7-8 years. She was raised with one of the most spoilage you could imagine. Her spoilage led to many problems - lack of ambition (since she always relied on her parents), losing friends (because of bad/spoiled attitude), and the list goes on and on.

Now that I'm back in the Bay Area, I've reconnected with her. She's now in her late 20's and I see a girl transformed! She's now helpful, courteous, and overall just mature - a complete one eighty.

Conclusion: We can change ourselves at anytime at any age. There is never no hope in people.

A note for those trying to lose weight

I put on a lot of weight since hmm 2006? I blame it on:

1) I had just started a new relationship in late 2005 so I blame the relationship fat.

Also 2) since I never had the freshman 15, the "slowage" of metabolism caught up with me at the age of 22.

And 3) working - instead of running up and down the hills of San Diego State with 4 inch accounting books on my back, I started working behind a desk with VERY MINIMAL movement.

So I have a cousin who is 10 years older (she's now 35) who managed to lose her weight. She is looking her best! She even looks better than when she was 28 or 25 or 21 or 16 - seriously! And all the excuses I have above are pretty much inexcusable as 1) she's married so relationship fat is no excuse 2) she is 10 years older so I can't blame the metabolism "slowage" 3) like me, she works behind a desk and most of all she has a # 4) she's had THREE kids! And she STILL managed to lose her weight.

Conclusion: Throw away your excuses! Lose your weight for the new year!

It's never too late (you're never too old)

I know a 61 year old man who recently migrated to the United States (from another country) and he's just now learning new ways of life - new language, new culture, new geography, new everything!

During my last visit in the Philippines in Aug/Sept 2007, I met an 87 year old woman. She was speaking to me in English; she was proficient; speaking English appeared natural to her. Then I found out that she learned English in her 80's. I would have never guessed! I would have guessed that she learned during young adulthood. I also found out that she just learned how to text at the age of 83.

You can learn anything at any age! The issue won't be when you did it, but whether you did it at all. If there's anything you always wanted to do and always thought it was too late, DO IT IN 2009! Happy New Year!

"It's never too late to become what you might have been." ~John Pasco

Still a persistent happy great guy

I knew someone during college who, despite life hardships, persistently worked for his bachelor's degree. He financially supported himself since a young adult, had younger siblings to take care of and had a disabled & blind mother in a wheelchair to care for. I am amazed at this person's perseverance; he never gave up on achieving his professional dream, but I think what amazed me more about this person is that he lived life as if he was problem-free - HE WAS SUCH A HAPPY GREAT GUY!

Happy Holidays to all!

She never got what she wanted

An unlucky story:

She has had 2 failed engagements. And finally on her third engagement, in the summer of 2007, she tied the knot at the age of 41. However, she became a widow the following winter due to a car accident.

I know bad things happen; I know we don't always get what we want, but I think this is another level! That's REALLY unfair and the word really can't seem to describe the magnitude of unfairness here. I had my share of experiencing unfairness in life. There is no easy way for these types of things, but I do know of A way: You hold on tight and you hold on strong.

Being single is not the worse thing

I'm not an expert on relationships, but I do have an insight about them here and there:

Since I cancelled my gym membership in SoCal, it was time to set one up in NorCal and so I went a couple of months ago. The girl who helped me appeared to be in her late 20's. She was very open & comfortable with me (since we're around the same age and all) and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I nodded and she said "Lucky! I've been single for like a year! I really wish I had a boyfriend!" I noticed the look on her face - a full face of discontentment. I could see where she's coming from, but I could also see where she is headed and so I said something like "It's better to be single than rush into a relationship and just end up broken. So really, it's much better to take your time in choosing the RIGHT one. There are much worse things than being single."

Perhaps I shouldn't broadcast this over the world wide web, but I must in attempt to help others. I have someone in my life who is somewhat of a mother figure and when she was much much younger - when she was still a young single girl, she said that she had a specific goal of being married by the time she was 25. Thus, she married her boyfriend right around that time. Years down the road, her marriage was in shambles (not compatible, communication problems, etc) and ended in divorce before she reached the age of 40.

Being single is not the worse thing; there is something worse - you could be hurt. Besides, relationships are A LOT of work so do it with someone worthwhile. So take your time. There are many beautiful things in the world. Enjoy the day!

Hardships do not discriminate

Whether you are rich or poor, old or young or sometimes even a good person or bad person, hardships in life - cancer, divorce, financial difficulty, accidents, etc - do not discriminate. It hits every one of us.

Even us here in the United States, which is suppose to be the land of opportunity, are being hit by hard economic times. The citizens of the United States at this moment are unemployed, pinching pennies and losing their homes! (In California, each month, there are 13,000 foreclosures.)

Times like these are inevitable; it can't be good and perfect all the time. During these times, we shall still find it in ourselves to smile, to laugh and to find & be thankful for the good that remains in life.

I know times are hard these days, but let's be thankful for what we have for this Thanksgiving 2008! And let's hang in there!

"The happiest people don't have it all; they just make the best of what they have."




For fun:

(I can't find 2007!)
This years:

Be thankful for what you have

This quote is overused, but still holds importance: I complained about not getting the shoes that I wanted, and then I met someone with no feet.

Also, Yes Duffy (half Irish half Thai Road Rules celeb) once said that he used to complain about the Jordans that he didn't get, but then later on he discovered that his cousins in Thailand are the ONES who put in the labor to produce these Jordans.

During our tough economic times - well established financial institutions going out of business, a huge trend of citizens losing their homes, etc - you tend to sigh, worry, and say something like "what is happening to the world?" However, you forget that at least an American's hard times are temporary - that we KNOW how it is to have good times. For the rest of the world, TIMES ARE HARD ALL YEAR ROUND.

I know times are hard right now, but in the mean time, don't forget to be thankful for the good that you already have. Give thanks for our upcoming Thanksgiving!




Also, to Chris: Happy 3 years! (And indeed it has been a happy 3 years!)

Enjoy your moments!

This one's for you, ChriS! And also to everyone else!


You always have something to do whether it be school, work, promotion or something else. In a lifetime, these NEVER run out.

Life stopped being play time for me in middle school and I remember I had to keep my grades up so I'm well prepared for for high school where my grades started to matter in order to get into college to get a good job which is the key to putting food on the table and getting a house which is for your future family and in the same time it's also the key to retirement.

Note that the paragragh above only had 1 sentence. (Did you go back and check?) So does our peaceful time arrive only upon retirement?

Life goes on & on and we are always on the go striving for something, but don't forget during your striving to ease on the stressors & take time to enjoy your time! These moments pass you by. Don't wait until retirement to have your good life.

Certain points in your life only happen at certain times, such as NOW.

Enjoy your moments! Enjoy life!

You may feel weak, but you're actually strong

Every morning while driving to work, I usually listen to a particular San Diego radio station that has daily positive/motivational segments to get my day started. Here's one of the powerful ones:

Ok so over the weekend I met this woman. She was a 45 year old single mother of two who's had her fair share of ups and downs in life. Her mother passed away recently leaving her to care for her father. She has lupus and suffered a stroke which put her in the hospital and out of work for a good while. She's been used and abused by some horrible men. And she's just kind of given up on the idea of ever being happy again. As she was telling me her story she seemed a little weathered, definitely over worked and worn out, but had the wisdom of someone that's lived way beyond the 45 years she shows on her birth certificate. With a tear in her eye she asked me, "Geena, what do I do? What is the purpose of life? And why do all these bad things keep happening to me? Does it ever stop? I feel worthless" As I looked at her, I could see the pain in her eyes. I could see all the hurt she's been through and I could see the anguish that has lived inside her for years. But beyond all that, if one were to look deeper they would see what I saw; a beautiful woman. A youthful woman with a heart of gold. I told her, "I know you've had a tough life. And I can tell you feel worn out and stressed. And I know when you look in the mirror you may think you see a worthless woman. But you know what I see. I see a strong woman. I see a woman who's been able to fight all these battles and is still here alive and fighting. I see a woman whose tiredness on her face just shows me how hard she's worked to raise two beautiful kids and how hard she's still working to put food on the table for her family. I see a woman, who has overcome many struggles, and who is still overcoming struggles but those are the struggles that have made her who she is today. A strong woman, a hard working woman, a woman with perseverance, a woman who could've gave up a long time ago, but has chosen not to. What I see standing in front of me right now, is one of the strongest women I've ever met and a woman I can only hope to aspire to be like one day. Quote of the day comes from William Durant: He once said, "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you're going to do now - and do it."

Personality is forever. Be honest with yourself. *****

The following blog has a bit of a different theme; it's about an insight of mine about marriages/relationships:

I met a man who was having marital problems. We were in a business-setting; I stepped into his office and noticed that he was troubled and so I said “I’ll come back.” He said “You know what, let’s go grab some lunch.” Over lunch he had told me that he married in his early 20’s, now he’s in his late 30’s and he has two boys. He said that he realized after he got married and had known for a long time now that he and his wife are not compatible and that he's having a real hard time staying married to her. He said that he stays for his sons. He said that the things that are not working in their marriage were present before the marriage, but it didn't occur to him that they would be the things that would break him. He then told me as a piece of advice "Before you get into marriage, think about your future spouse's flaws, be truthful with yourself and ask 'Can I?' You are the only one that can answer that so just be honest with yourself."

You marry or stay in a relationship for the right reasons - not because it's time because of your age - this will not withstand a lifetime of tests during a marriage - not for money, physical attractiveness, fame, status, etc - these are all conditional things about a person; at any given point, it could be taken away. At times people underestimate the importance of personality because to me, personality is forever.

Even if you made a mistake, you have a chance

Although no one can go back & make a brand new beginning, anyone can start now & make a brand new ending.

The only time you run out of chances is when you stop trying.

Habang nahinga, may pagasa.
All you really need is air in your lungs and your chance starts there.

If you're having a hard life...

...you really should get up the courage to talk/vent to someone - anyone - someone you're close to or if you'd prefer, someone impartial. You will find that life's hardships are within everyone and you are not alone. Other people's hardships might not be in the same form as yours, but there is someone in the world that is suffering from the same magnitude or if not, maybe more. And you will find that although life is not fair sometimes, perhaps the fact that the unfairness is more common than previously thought and that you are not alone will make living through the hardship a bit more comforting. The key is to simply LIVE THROUGH IT. Although it might seem forever now, it will pass. You will look back someday and say "Wow. I got through all of that."

Trust me; I've been there and done that. For 3 years, I've had consecutive unfavorable life events and I've kept it to myself and finally, I opened up to my family & friends and because I've opened up, they opened up too - I found out that although a young lady had graduated from college and is about to start her career, before all of this, a while back, she and her family got into a car accident - and imagine, waking up from a coma 2 months later only to find out that your legs are paralyzed for life and that your father is gone. Reminder that there are billions of people in the world. Everyone has something - they are in different shapes, degrees, forms - but the one thing they hold in common is that it is not always the person's fault and that these bad things happen to good people who don't deserve it. It happens and it's not fair, but people live through them everyday. And those who choose to live through it end up doing much more with their lives. =)

To positive thinking!

I dedicate my blogs to positive thoughts/thinking. Here goes!