Nothing is defined in absolution; definitely not at age 18, 20, 22, etc

No one can have a brand new beginning but anyone can start now and make a brand new ending.

There were 2 rival cousins that were 2 years apart. We'll call them cousin A who is older and cousin B who is younger. Cousin B was frequently jealous of cousin A because since cousin A was older, she had more privileges i.e. freedom as they were growing up and cousin B had to wait 2 years before she could experience the same experience - and to a teen, 2 years is an eternity. From big things to small things, cousin B had to watch cousin A live the life cousin B had longed for; cousin A got to go out with friends, have a boyfriend, etc. The jealousy wasn't alleviated since cousin A, well she wasn't boastful, but she wasn't humble either. Cousin A got straight A's, was in all sorts of extra-curricular activities, graduated high school with high honors, and got into UCLA. Cousin B tried hard, had a 3.97 G.P.A. and when it was her turn, she didn't get into UCLA. To an 18 year old, this was a defining moment of self-worth. It didn't help to hear about cousin A's stories about her UCLA college years (cousin A was a sophomore there by this time). Cousin B did get accepted to other colleges like Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, which to me is a great school, but she had her eye on UCLA. She didn't submit any responses to any colleges. Because she got nothing but nagging from her parents, during the summer, she enrolled at a local community college still feeling worthless, but at least this kept the nagging at a level she could tolerate. Although still feeling like crap, she still kept up with attempting to have straight A's. She thought to at least uphold this because this had been her rhythm since grade school. To fill her time, to fill the void of feeling worthless, she wanted to be around people and so she got into more student organizations. 

 

Before you know it, it was February of spring semester of sophomore year. About 2 years has passed and by this time cousin A was making plans for her UCLA graduation party. She was graduating with an engineering degree and going on her 2nd round of interviews with Lockheed Martin. As much as cousin B wanted to be happy for her cousin and is proud to be in close proximity of someone with prestige, she couldn't help but be reminded that she couldn't have that same great thing for herself. At this time, she was still in the local community college. Granted, she did make the best of these community college years; she's had the best grades she's ever had before and she's made life-long friends via the various organizations she led. In addition to being reminded of her heartbreak of not getting into UCLA, she'll be transferring in the fall and is currently waiting for acceptance letters from universities. This was nerve racking! She applied everywhere including UCLA and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. Now that she's a little older and a little wiser and she's met people who were heartbroken when they didn't get into Cal Poly, she's realized that going to Cal Poly is a privilege that she shouldn't take for granted. On the day of cousin A's graduation, cousin B woke up and felt dreadful even though she knew the right thing to do was to be happy for her cousin. She went for a therapy run. During her run, she realized "I really ought be proud of my cousin. She WORKED for that. She's earned and deserves it. My cousin hasn't done anything bad to me." So she went to the graduation ceremony feeling pride for her cousin. And being there with all the banners, music and seeing how her whole family & relatives were happy, genuinely made her happy too. The ceremony was so active that it took her mind off of her acceptance letters, or rejection letters. Although the big graduation party was to take place at an expensive hall next Saturday, they had a smaller gathering at cousin A's parents' house. There they all talked, laughed as a family. When she got home that night, she realized she hasn't checked the mail that day because she went for a run and forgot all about it. So she checked with her heart pounding. And just like a movie, there were acceptance letters/envelopes from Cal Poly, UCLA, UC Berkeley, Stanford and Cornell. She chose Stanford and chose pre-med. 

This girl has been a doctor for 3 years now. 

Nothing is defined in absolution; definitely not at age 18, 20, 22, even 30, 40, 50, 60.

Fortunate America

I love America! U.S. of A!

It has done so much for me and the generations before me.

I have done some traveling in the world and as much as I've enjoyed other cultures and other nations' art/architecture, food, customs, etc., the rest of the world is suffering from poverty, hunger, government instability, etc. -- items that Americans worry about less. Although, yes, America is far from problem-free, we are still so very fortunate to be in this land of opportunity and freedom.

Live life to the absolute maximum capacity

A friend was taken from this world last week. His death was untimely (he was in his 20's) and his murder remains unsolved.

I was lucky enough to have known a genuine spirit.

Although he and I met via common best friends, he treated me like I was one of his best friends from the start, no questions asked. He was so loved by MANY. Since his passing was public fact, there is a new status update, new wall post or new picture on his wall every 10 seconds! The kind words about him are endless and they just keep coming, seriously.

Here is one of the wall posts on his fb wall:

"[He] lived 28 beautiful, amazing, and fulfilled years. Full of dreams and passion. He traveled the world with a flag in one hand and a pair of scissors in another [he was in colorguard/drum core and a hair stylist]. He adored and honored his mother the way a real man should. He was a father figure to his brother and sister. He gave love unconditionally, he brought infectious laughter and joy to many lives. And when that man entered a room all eyes were on him because of his self awareness and his confidence. [He] lived more life in 28 years than most people live in a lifetime."

If it's one thing I saw in him and learned from his life, it's to live life to the absolute most maximum capacity which is with happiness and love as he did :) That is a true way to honor someone as great as he.

Even though it's been said over and over again, with just a blink of an eye, life can change. Life is too short. Maybe even let go of the smaller things in life, even the bad and even if they are bothersome.

Live, laugh & love.

A very serious blog

There are 3 kinds of people; those who can count and those who can't.

What really matters in life

I know a woman who passed away at the age of late 80's. I went to her viewing and funeral. She was a wife, mother of 10 (no, that is not a typo; that's ten) and a grandmother of about 25. She was a simple woman who kept herself and life simple. She was born in a lower middle class family, did not attend college, and for a living, she took any employment. Her children had full lives and made good lives of their own. She was a happy smiley laughy woman and so her grandchildren loved her. MANY people had BEAUTIFUL eulogies to deliver. I CRIED at EVERY SINGLE one of them.

She was not a billionaire and was not a celebrity, but man, from the words friends, former co-workers, family members, etc said about her, I felt that she was worth a billion bucks and was world famous!

Character. I believe that is what really matters in life.

Medicine when you're feeling down

Eat healthy and try to take your vitamins: This sounds a little corny, but you'd be surprised at how much effect physical health could have on your mood/emotions.

Regular/routine exercising: For some reason when your body gets routine exercise, since your body is connected to your mind, it's as if you go through some Jedi mind tricks on yourself and your feelings of being down over time fades away...but the key is over time.

Network of support: But the best medicine of all is having support from family and true friends. Even if your troubles are not being discussed, as long as you're around them and spending time with them, the positive effects last a life time. While you're at it, laughter with loved ones is a plus!

The Fighter

A must see movie! A prime example that people CAN turn themselves around.

From nothing to something

For the last four years, a few family members and I have been funding a scholar's college education. She is a hardworking, smart, driven, young girl with a sweet personality, but had very little resources in the poor country which she lives in to utilize her talents. What do you know, she's an accounting major! :) She is the oldest of her 3 siblings. Her mother is unemployed and her father does not have a permanent job; at the moment, he provides labor aid in a plantation. In her and her family's home, there are no outlets. Her and her family live in a house with 1 light bulb which they plug from a neighbor's socket. True story.

She will be holding a bachelor's degree this month! :D

What was revealed in an atlas *****

I recently read through a rather expensive Atlas. This Atlas is filled with statistics! Crime rate, GDP, etc. So pretty much the only places in the world that's actually in good standing are the United States, Europe, Japan, and really just a few others - the rest of the world just makes me sad. Most of the world is suffering. I have always felt lucky in life, but seeing further validation, just when I thought it wasn't possible, I am even more appreciative of my life and things I have, including simple things - 3+ meals a day, clean drinking water, our government and American society is for the most part, stable, and much much more!

Americans are lucky!

Japan, Earthquakes and Tsunamis

It simply does not matter. Whether a person or a country is one of the wealthiest in the world or one of the best equipped for disasters, hardships come in many forms and do not discriminate.

My heart goes to all who suffered from Japan's recent events.

What floats your boat?

Every person is different. Every person will have different priorities. What's important to me may not be important to you. I know some people who work 90 hours a week. I know some folks who work on holidays. They are always on the go and always have money in the bank, feel secure, and to them, that floats their boat. I know some people who are simple, have a roof over their head, 3 square meals a day & have abundant family time and they're happy - to them, that's what floats their boat. The world is just filled with many many things in different forms that can make us happy. Take your pick! Take advantage! What floats your boat?!



There are many things in the world that will make a person happy and thankful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Letting go is not a one-time thing

This week I found out the following:

Letting go is not a one time thing. It is something you have to do over and over again, everyday.

I came across a woman who got divorced and re-married. She divorced her ex-husband because he had other women. She was routinely miserable.

A couple of years later, she found someone - someone she was very compatible with. She is happier than ever (:

Six years after her divorce, she ran into her ex-husband.

Although ultimately she knows she's in a much better place 10 times over and her first marriage is in fact non-existent, her natural first reaction is to feel pain.

And although in the last 4 years, she has been blissfully happy in her current marriage, she had to take a deep breath and let go (again).

Time does not heal all wounds. With time, your pain can be reduced and you're able to move forward with your life, but there can be a scar left behind. Healing and letting go is an on-going process. Letting go is definitely not a one time deal.

You must consciously remind yourself to let go and move forward.

Letting go is not a one time thing. It is something you have to do over and over again, everyday.

An example of not appreciating what you have

I know a girl. We are not too close, but I have recently spoken to her. She has a troubled relationship with her father; they just can't seem to get along due to their personality differences. She is so angry with her father...so angry that sometimes she thinks she is better off never knowing him.

She has recently attended 2 weddings.

The first wedding was her guy friend's wedding and while the bride marched down the aisle, she was given away by her uncle since both of her parents were killed in a car crash when she was a child.

The second wedding was her girlfriend's wedding and while her girlfriend walked down the aisle, she was given away by only her mother because when the bride was a teenager, her father had taken his own life away.

She then realized that the one day she plans on walking down the aisle, she would like to picture having her father be the one to walk her down and give her away...

Goods things happen to good people

After 13 years of togetherness, 2 good people are going to tie the knot today!! Good things DO happen to good people (:

How to deal with unexpected unfavorable change

Suggestion for a (short) read:

TR quote

I am feeling United States-y today...

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Dreams => Reality

Tomorrow my boyfriend is graduating and obtaining his MBA from a ranked program. I still remember when it was just dream, just a general goal to obtain a higher education and fantasy to work for a big company. Because of his daily steps toward his goal, it's simply not a dream anymore - he is living his dream. No wishing; just do. A prime example of making dreams a reality :)

A time when the hard times were worth it*****

My friend of 10+ years was raised by a single-mom. Since we were young girls, my friend has always talked about how her mom was STRONG.

Two years ago on my friend's wedding day, her maid of honor was her sister and I remember I cried my eyes out during the maid of honor speech because both the bride and the maid of honor were so THANKFUL for their mother. It was simply portrayed that they felt they had complete lives and that their mom did a incredible job because now, you'll see 2 daughters with good lives - both daughters earned their bachelor's degree in respectable areas of study, both are married and like their mother, both are strong women...

It's moments like these that make single parenthood or any other hard time in life worth it.

Make life count!

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years."~Abraham Lincoln

...coming from an obviously credible source that made his life count - until now his life counts for a lot!

Make life count!

The ball is in your court more often than you think

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."~ER

"The person that could hurt me the most is me."~ATM

"Happiness is a feeling; it is a thought; it is a belief and you can change that so everyone has a chance at happiness."~CAB

Conclusion: You have more control than you realize.

A relationship insight

Sometimes it's not the person you're with; sometimes it's who YOU tend to be as a result of that person's company.




Example:


I know a guy who was with a girl who gave him pretty much everything he wanted. Although a relationship is a two-way street, in this relationship, she was the only one who was driving and working on it while he sat back, was a back-seat driver and made all the demands. The girl is a nice generous person who loved her boyfriend and to her that was enough. Although the boy is also a nice person, because of the nature of their relationship (she was the giver and he was the taker), he tended to be a demanding spoiled brat of a boyfriend - he did not do this intentionally or maliciously - he was simply unaware that he was this person. It was not until years later that he realized: He wasn't the person he wanted to be; in fact, he was even further away from the person he wanted to be...all a result of the nature of their relationship. His attitude, his career, etc were all slipping away - far from how he pictured them to be. Although his girlfriend was a generous and accepting person, he wasn't an inspired person and it was then that he realized that for both of their sakes, he couldn't continue this pattern...i.e. this relationship.


I spoke to him recently and it had been a little while before he found another girlfriend. He has been with his current girlfriend for 2 years now and he said that this girlfriend is the one =). In his current relationship, no one person is a taker; no one person is a giver - both of them give and take and he says that he is inspired everyday to be a kind person filled with motivation. It appears to me that he now has a balanced healthy relationship. Most importantly, he loves the person he had become the last couple of years.




It wasn't that his earlier girlfriend was a horrible person; he pointed out bluntly that she wasn't. There is just something about his latter relationship that inspires him to be a better person. Again, sometimes it's not the person you're with; sometimes it's who YOU tend to be as a result of that person's company.

Great beats good

"If you want something you've never had, then you have to do something you've never done. You have to give up 'the good' if you want to have the great. Is it hard? Probably. Is it worth it? Definitely."

I know a girl who left a good & comfortable relationship and was in the dark for the scary unknown for a while. She then found a great relationship with a great guy. She says all the time: Great beats good anytime.

Have a GREAT holiday season!

Your life can change in a second

I know a guy who reached proper retirement age and so he officially retired. Sometime after his retirement, his daughter got into a drug addiction. His daughter has a child (his grandchild). Without hesitating, he took the child in, cared for his grandchild as if his own, and in order to financially support his grandchild, he went back to work. Just when you think you've reached a certain point in your life, you turn around and see a different one.

We shouldn't be so attached to our pictures of how life should be. It's part of life to have unexpected turns or an unexpected change.



For some amusement, here's a picture of some change heheh:

If you're having a bad day...

...there is someone else in the world that is having a worse day.

Smile. Laugh. Be thankful for what you have. Happy Thanksgiving!

Nothing is guaranteed except...

As I'm closer to my hometown, I come across people I went to high school with. It's funny how people that were much more successful than me in high school are NOT doing better than I am now and how people that had lower grades than I did in high school are doing MUCH better than I am. Nothing is ever really predictable. You could be on top, lose sight of things and lose it. Or you can be on the bottom, hang on tight and work your way up on top. Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is set. Nothing is for sure. The one thing you can hold on to is your power to choose right from wrong.

Despite economic hard times...

You may want to read my 5/3/09 entry; the following is a continuation of that blog.


So this person that I know who is having it rough during our tough economic times is, I officially say, a true trooper. As a reminder, she has major down time at work and earns less income, financial/professional standing is iffy, etc. However, that doesn't ruin her spirit! She is starting a small business in hopes to recover some of that loss income and since she has more time on her hands now, she is going back to school to obtain even higher education than she already possesses.

I love her attitude! In a time other people are depressed during this economic hard time, she is STILL productive and most of all, has not given up :).

I'm a witness of perseverance *****

As of this month, I have contributed one year worth of blogs. As such, I proposed one of my strongest blogs. I will leave this one up for the rest of the month:


When my grandmother passed away 2 years ago, I went to the Philippines for her funeral.

Philippine statistics: Out of 10 children, 4 will get to college, and 2 will obtain their degrees. The economy in the Philippines is in bad shape; it is TOO competitive where it is hurting the Philippine people. For example, the job market is so bad that graduates end up having cashier job positions! It makes you wonder what kind of jobs do people who are not graduates have? Exactly. I witnessed the lives which the people of the Philippines live.

I took a chair and for almost a whole day sat on a porch and watched people walk. I wanted to witness what a typical day in the streets of the Philippines looked like. I noticed a man, a disabled man who was in ripped (but relatively clean) clothing walking very irregularly as if one of his legs was longer than the other (it was later revealed to me that he had suffered a stroke; as a result, he walked in such a way). I saw him in the morning and despite his physical condition, bags of bread (called pandisal) were hanging from his arms as he was selling them. Later on that day (around the afternoon) I saw the same man - walking the same, same condition of clothing - only this time, he had bags of peanuts and again he was selling them. I now got up the nerve to buy some. I called him over and asked how much a bag was and he replied "20 pesos" which is about 40 cents in American dollars. I noted that he was also talking very irregularly - again, this was due to his stroke - it was very difficult to understand him - his words were very slurred. I gave him 100 pesos and told him to keep the change. He then looked at me like I was crazy and was motioning that he was giving the money back; he couldn't imagine that I was serious.

In a country with very poor economical standing and without disability insurance or any welfare programs, despite his financial status, physical disability, this guy is still TRYING IN LIFE.

I applaud him.

Never an easy way out, but definitely a way out

I know this great couple - I say they're great because they are honest hard-working people and provide one of the most pleasant companies. They are lucky enough to have found each other and after 10 years (yes 10 years!) of being together, they decided to tie the knot!

On their way to their honeymoon, driving to Las Vegas, to avoid a car accident since a car had cut them off, their car swerved and still led to a car accident. This car accident was no minor one - it led to several life challenges especially physical challenges.

I ponder: how you're a good & honest person right in the middle of a happy time in your life - on your way to your honeymoon to celebrate solidifying 10 years of togetherness - but yet life still has a challenge for you.

And now although the chances of a 100% recovery were slimmer than the contrary, the bride has taken off her back brace!

Bad things happen to good people and there is never an easy way out, but there is definitely a way out. It's possible! This couple is my inspiration to getting through tough times.

Today is their one year wedding anniversary! Getting through tough times together is what successful marriages are all about! Happy one year!

Atypical marriage

When I witnessed this particular couple getting married, I thought: It's very rare that two people are getting married while the two people are BOTH marrying up. I wasn't wrong:

Husband misplaces his wedding ring. Wife says, "That's okay. We'll just get you a new one." Husband says, "But I want to be a husband who doesn't lose his wedding ring."

How about that? A wife that is cool/understanding about her husband misplacing his wedding ring and a husband that is hard on himself for misplacing it. True story. I wish most marriages were like this.

Congratulations to you both; you know who you are.

Some bad things aren't 100% bad

I know a girl who was in long & stable relationship. They loved each other & laughed together - it was a good relationship. While they were still in their 20's, they were still in the phase of building a life for themselves and so he had to do what he had to do on one side of the globe and so did she on the other side of globe. Although long-distance relationships are extremely difficult, they figured that all the sacrifices are definitely worth it for each other - as long as they ultimately end up together with good standing lives, that's all that mattered to them. However, during the months they were apart, the guy ended up cheating on her. She was devastated...so devastated that she lost 20 pounds in a month! She said that what troubled her was: She was willing to bet her life that he was a good guy who unconditionally loved her and that he was the one. Her faith and her trust in her perception of how good people are were shaken. She thought if a good relationship couldn't work, then nothing will work. She continued this way for about a year.

She tried dating and as much as she dated good guys - guys that had their lives together, long-term relationship guys, good careers, good character, she still felt the same - very little faith in relationships and very little trust in herself that she can make it work.

And just when she was about to give up...just when she was about to toss her last ounce of faith in relationships, she met a new guy that she had no intention of dating...little by little she began to see that he wasn't a good guy - he was great guy! She said that there was something about him that makes him great! She said there were many great things she was unaware about that her previous relationship lacked that she wouldn't have ever known. They eventually got together and have been together for a few years now and are going strong.

Imagine, if the first guy never cheated on her, she wouldn't have ever gotten out of that one and would have settled for good and would have never experienced great. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason; sometimes bad things aren't 100% bad as her bad thing led to something GREAT.
_________________

Happy 4th of July everyone!

There is good even after a series of bad

I was sitting and waiting at the airport, waiting to board. I sat next to a lady in her 60's. We got to talking - what's your name, what do you do, etc. I found out that on her spare time, she does what she calls "chant". She explained that sometime during her lifetime, she divorced her husband because he was an alchoholic who hit her and after her divorce, she was diagnosed with depression - she explained that she was angry and miserable. She then found "chanting" and through this and of course after some time, she found a perspective in life - a positive perspective that life does not have to miserable - the good in life can co-exist with the bad. After being enlightened with this new positive perspective in life, she threw out the miserable person and came the happy cheery person I saw before me.

Another example that there is good even after a series of bad experiences in life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the first day of Summer 2009! Sunny bright days ahead of us! Yay!

180 degrees

I have a pretty good friend. I met her when she was already a graduate. But before that, when she was in high school, she had really bad grades and got into trouble a lot in school. Sometime after high school somewhere somehow she changed her ways - she attended a community college, transferred to a 4-year university and eventually obtained her bachelors degree. She mentioned to me that all her friends from high school are doing exactly the same thing - they are ruining their lives by running up their criminal records while some are even taking drugs to the point where their physical health is at stake. [She says that she tries to get them out - but as much as she tries to help, she says that she can only help to a certain point and the rest is up to the individual.] I asked her how she got out of that lifestyle and she said: choices.

You don't have to get sucked in; you can choose.

Two conflicting items in one

I used to work with a particular reviewer. He was known to be extremely critical over a staff member's work - he really tells you everything that you do wrong and where you can improve. With all this, he was very likeable - he was everyone's favorite! He was a constructive critic and delivered in the best way! He is well-intentioned and had growth in mind. Who said you couldn't be critical and likeable in the same time? He has the perfect balance. Pure talent.

It's been years since I worked with him and until today, I carry valuable tools I got from him. In fact, a lot of my professional strengths today stem from him.

I highly respect him.

Once discontent, now appreciative

I know someone who was not content with how things were in her life. There was nothing horrible, but she wanted a lot of improvements. Although she complained a lot about her dissatisfaction, she was working hard toward getting the things she wanted - she was at least doing something about it. However, one day, she got hit with consecutive problems. As much as she is trying to survive these consecutive problems now, she wishes that she was more appreciative of the previous time in her life when life just needed some improvements.

Always cherish your moments, no matter how bad they seem to be.

My Hero: My Grandmother, Lola Ala*****

Lola Ala, my paternal grandmother, is my ETERNAL HERO. She endured being WIDOWED TWICE, being BLIND in one eye, and HARD LABOR throughout her whole life. She started off as a coconut FARMER then over the years moved to managing the plantation/business, and then by the time of her death she owned 32 ACRES of land. Her life was tough for her (being educated as far as 4th grade) yet she raised 4 GREAT and also successful children - she put all her children through school as a SINGLE MOTHER. She raised good children - my dad is one of the most genuine people I know and her children (my uncles and aunt) are my second parents. In a country with very poor economy, she was able to fund her OWN RETIREMENT without aid from anyone - not her children - not from the government - all from herself. And most of all, she is widely known as a HELPFUL and GOOD PERSON.

I wish I counted how many people went to her viewing/funeral; it was just too crowded.

Happy birthday my Lola! Hope you're resting in peace.

Same situation, different reaction

I know someone pretty close to me. I saw her last weekend and was just asking about how life has been lately and she mentioned that due to how bad her company/employer is doing in this harsh economy, she got a 20% pay cut, no longer works full-time hours and just last week, they had a company-wide shut down; thus, she had to take unpaid time off for a week! However, what struck me was not how "scary" her professional/financial situation was, but it was how she delivered her message - she said it without intent - it was simply informative - meaning she wasn't trying to be upbeat about it which would have been untruthful, but she also was not looking for sympathy (like a drama queen). She was just plain honest...which now that I think about it, is something I have always admired about her.

She is a wonder because even though she goes through the same hardships as most people do, she is the opposite of a drama queen without being overly/annoyingly positive. I just found it admirable that although her situation is of a concern during our hard economic times just like everyone else, she is keeping her cool and is handling it with a strong yet honest attitude.

10% is what happens to you; 90% is your reaction.

Old is relative and so is hard times

I met a 60 year-old lady at the airport and she and I got to talking and sharing little bits about each other. She was a hip lady - she was wearing boots with at least 2-3 inch heels, skinny jeans, was showing her bra with cleavage, and her hair was spikey. She was flying to San Diego where her son, his wife and kids live and she said that she can't stand the weather down there - she said that she doesn't like warm weather - she prefers the cool weather in the Bay Area. I always thought that San Diego weather was perfect and so I asked how she felt about Las Vegas weather. She had a real disgusted expression on her face and said "the last time I was there was 1968. I remember I was in my mid twenty's and didn't know a thing about the world. I can't believe how naive I used to be." Mind you that I did not reveal my age to her, but it's just funny that she specifically said her mid-twenties.

I was thinking "I'm in my mid-twenties?!" - someone can still look at me as a young & naive person - I'm starting to think a lot of things are relative - that there's always going to be someone who is older than you, less wealthier than you, has a harder life than you do - so really should just enjoy what we have =)

The sky REALLY is the limit

I think we can all agree that engineering is one of the most challenging majors. I know A LOT of smart guys that took 6 or 7 years to obtain their engineering degrees or gave up on engineering entirely - and these guys were exceptionally smart - they received high honors during high school graduation, got into good schools etc - but engineering is THAT difficult.

My cousin Jay however took about 4 years to graduate - and not only that - he did this while having 3 part-time jobs; he was helping with my dad's drafting business, he was a teller at Wells Fargo bank and he also had his engineering internship. Not only that but he had time for his friends which he remains great friends with till this day (he's now in his late 20's) AND he had his long-time relationship to keep up with.

Today: He continues to be successful. He has his coupe BMW, his new and awesome house in the suburbs and his boat which is his toy for water sports. Now, he is about to make his life even more complete by marrying his very long-time girlfriend who stood by him since he was at stage 1. The sky is his limit.

Conclusion: It's up to you how much you want to get out of life. Such accomplishments are obviously possible!

She was afraid of being alone

I know a girl who was afraid of being alone. She was afraid of not having a man in her life. She was in a long-term relationship - I forgot exactly how long they were together, but it's somewhere between 4 to 6 years. Although their relationship was long, it was not healthy - he was a bad guy. He couldn't keep a stable job, had bad credit, took drugs and cheated on her numerous times and because of her fear of being alone, she always forgave him (and he probably knew too that she would always forgive him). Although he was not good to her, she was set with him. At a young age, she married him and got pregnant to seal the deal that she would always have a man in her life. She may have been hoping that he would change after marriage and fatherhood, but nothing changed. Because of her new son, she got fed up with him not trying to be a good father and so she filed for divorce (in her early 20's).

Now, life is much tougher for her. Instead of being a single girl in her 20's (which is what a lot of girls I know are dreading), she's now a single-mother with a drug-user unemployed ex-husband in her 20's. After giving birth to her son, she did out grow her fear of being without a man. She is very much surviving single parenthood! =) For her son, she's a much stronger person now.

I know a lot of girls who are afraid of going through life without a man, but having no man is much better than having a bad man. True story.

If you need a little inspiration...

Another Sunday of reflection to start off the week!

If you need a little inspiration, watch the movie "Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith. It's a true story of true hardship and true perseverance.

People can change for the better...REALLY

I knew this girl prior to my moving to southern California in 2001. I didn't get to keep in touch with her in the last 7-8 years. She was raised with one of the most spoilage you could imagine. Her spoilage led to many problems - lack of ambition (since she always relied on her parents), losing friends (because of bad/spoiled attitude), and the list goes on and on.

Now that I'm back in the Bay Area, I've reconnected with her. She's now in her late 20's and I see a girl transformed! She's now helpful, courteous, and overall just mature - a complete one eighty.

Conclusion: We can change ourselves at anytime at any age. There is never no hope in people.

A note for those trying to lose weight

I put on a lot of weight since hmm 2006? I blame it on:

1) I had just started a new relationship in late 2005 so I blame the relationship fat.

Also 2) since I never had the freshman 15, the "slowage" of metabolism caught up with me at the age of 22.

And 3) working - instead of running up and down the hills of San Diego State with 4 inch accounting books on my back, I started working behind a desk with VERY MINIMAL movement.

So I have a cousin who is 10 years older (she's now 35) who managed to lose her weight. She is looking her best! She even looks better than when she was 28 or 25 or 21 or 16 - seriously! And all the excuses I have above are pretty much inexcusable as 1) she's married so relationship fat is no excuse 2) she is 10 years older so I can't blame the metabolism "slowage" 3) like me, she works behind a desk and most of all she has a # 4) she's had THREE kids! And she STILL managed to lose her weight.

Conclusion: Throw away your excuses! Lose your weight for the new year!

It's never too late (you're never too old)

I know a 61 year old man who recently migrated to the United States (from another country) and he's just now learning new ways of life - new language, new culture, new geography, new everything!

During my last visit in the Philippines in Aug/Sept 2007, I met an 87 year old woman. She was speaking to me in English; she was proficient; speaking English appeared natural to her. Then I found out that she learned English in her 80's. I would have never guessed! I would have guessed that she learned during young adulthood. I also found out that she just learned how to text at the age of 83.

You can learn anything at any age! The issue won't be when you did it, but whether you did it at all. If there's anything you always wanted to do and always thought it was too late, DO IT IN 2009! Happy New Year!

"It's never too late to become what you might have been." ~John Pasco

Still a persistent happy great guy

I knew someone during college who, despite life hardships, persistently worked for his bachelor's degree. He financially supported himself since a young adult, had younger siblings to take care of and had a disabled & blind mother in a wheelchair to care for. I am amazed at this person's perseverance; he never gave up on achieving his professional dream, but I think what amazed me more about this person is that he lived life as if he was problem-free - HE WAS SUCH A HAPPY GREAT GUY!

Happy Holidays to all!

She never got what she wanted

An unlucky story:

She has had 2 failed engagements. And finally on her third engagement, in the summer of 2007, she tied the knot at the age of 41. However, she became a widow the following winter due to a car accident.

I know bad things happen; I know we don't always get what we want, but I think this is another level! That's REALLY unfair and the word really can't seem to describe the magnitude of unfairness here. I had my share of experiencing unfairness in life. There is no easy way for these types of things, but I do know of A way: You hold on tight and you hold on strong.

Being single is not the worse thing

I'm not an expert on relationships, but I do have an insight about them here and there:

Since I cancelled my gym membership in SoCal, it was time to set one up in NorCal and so I went a couple of months ago. The girl who helped me appeared to be in her late 20's. She was very open & comfortable with me (since we're around the same age and all) and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I nodded and she said "Lucky! I've been single for like a year! I really wish I had a boyfriend!" I noticed the look on her face - a full face of discontentment. I could see where she's coming from, but I could also see where she is headed and so I said something like "It's better to be single than rush into a relationship and just end up broken. So really, it's much better to take your time in choosing the RIGHT one. There are much worse things than being single."

Perhaps I shouldn't broadcast this over the world wide web, but I must in attempt to help others. I have someone in my life who is somewhat of a mother figure and when she was much much younger - when she was still a young single girl, she said that she had a specific goal of being married by the time she was 25. Thus, she married her boyfriend right around that time. Years down the road, her marriage was in shambles (not compatible, communication problems, etc) and ended in divorce before she reached the age of 40.

Being single is not the worse thing; there is something worse - you could be hurt. Besides, relationships are A LOT of work so do it with someone worthwhile. So take your time. There are many beautiful things in the world. Enjoy the day!

Hardships do not discriminate

Whether you are rich or poor, old or young or sometimes even a good person or bad person, hardships in life - cancer, divorce, financial difficulty, accidents, etc - do not discriminate. It hits every one of us.

Even us here in the United States, which is suppose to be the land of opportunity, are being hit by hard economic times. The citizens of the United States at this moment are unemployed, pinching pennies and losing their homes! (In California, each month, there are 13,000 foreclosures.)

Times like these are inevitable; it can't be good and perfect all the time. During these times, we shall still find it in ourselves to smile, to laugh and to find & be thankful for the good that remains in life.

I know times are hard these days, but let's be thankful for what we have for this Thanksgiving 2008! And let's hang in there!

"The happiest people don't have it all; they just make the best of what they have."




For fun:

(I can't find 2007!)
This years:

Be thankful for what you have

This quote is overused, but still holds importance: I complained about not getting the shoes that I wanted, and then I met someone with no feet.

Also, Yes Duffy (half Irish half Thai Road Rules celeb) once said that he used to complain about the Jordans that he didn't get, but then later on he discovered that his cousins in Thailand are the ONES who put in the labor to produce these Jordans.

During our tough economic times - well established financial institutions going out of business, a huge trend of citizens losing their homes, etc - you tend to sigh, worry, and say something like "what is happening to the world?" However, you forget that at least an American's hard times are temporary - that we KNOW how it is to have good times. For the rest of the world, TIMES ARE HARD ALL YEAR ROUND.

I know times are hard right now, but in the mean time, don't forget to be thankful for the good that you already have. Give thanks for our upcoming Thanksgiving!




Also, to Chris: Happy 3 years! (And indeed it has been a happy 3 years!)

Enjoy your moments!

This one's for you, ChriS! And also to everyone else!


You always have something to do whether it be school, work, promotion or something else. In a lifetime, these NEVER run out.

Life stopped being play time for me in middle school and I remember I had to keep my grades up so I'm well prepared for for high school where my grades started to matter in order to get into college to get a good job which is the key to putting food on the table and getting a house which is for your future family and in the same time it's also the key to retirement.

Note that the paragragh above only had 1 sentence. (Did you go back and check?) So does our peaceful time arrive only upon retirement?

Life goes on & on and we are always on the go striving for something, but don't forget during your striving to ease on the stressors & take time to enjoy your time! These moments pass you by. Don't wait until retirement to have your good life.

Certain points in your life only happen at certain times, such as NOW.

Enjoy your moments! Enjoy life!

You may feel weak, but you're actually strong

Every morning while driving to work, I usually listen to a particular San Diego radio station that has daily positive/motivational segments to get my day started. Here's one of the powerful ones:

Ok so over the weekend I met this woman. She was a 45 year old single mother of two who's had her fair share of ups and downs in life. Her mother passed away recently leaving her to care for her father. She has lupus and suffered a stroke which put her in the hospital and out of work for a good while. She's been used and abused by some horrible men. And she's just kind of given up on the idea of ever being happy again. As she was telling me her story she seemed a little weathered, definitely over worked and worn out, but had the wisdom of someone that's lived way beyond the 45 years she shows on her birth certificate. With a tear in her eye she asked me, "Geena, what do I do? What is the purpose of life? And why do all these bad things keep happening to me? Does it ever stop? I feel worthless" As I looked at her, I could see the pain in her eyes. I could see all the hurt she's been through and I could see the anguish that has lived inside her for years. But beyond all that, if one were to look deeper they would see what I saw; a beautiful woman. A youthful woman with a heart of gold. I told her, "I know you've had a tough life. And I can tell you feel worn out and stressed. And I know when you look in the mirror you may think you see a worthless woman. But you know what I see. I see a strong woman. I see a woman who's been able to fight all these battles and is still here alive and fighting. I see a woman whose tiredness on her face just shows me how hard she's worked to raise two beautiful kids and how hard she's still working to put food on the table for her family. I see a woman, who has overcome many struggles, and who is still overcoming struggles but those are the struggles that have made her who she is today. A strong woman, a hard working woman, a woman with perseverance, a woman who could've gave up a long time ago, but has chosen not to. What I see standing in front of me right now, is one of the strongest women I've ever met and a woman I can only hope to aspire to be like one day. Quote of the day comes from William Durant: He once said, "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you're going to do now - and do it."