A relationship insight

Sometimes it's not the person you're with; sometimes it's who YOU tend to be as a result of that person's company.




Example:


I know a guy who was with a girl who gave him pretty much everything he wanted. Although a relationship is a two-way street, in this relationship, she was the only one who was driving and working on it while he sat back, was a back-seat driver and made all the demands. The girl is a nice generous person who loved her boyfriend and to her that was enough. Although the boy is also a nice person, because of the nature of their relationship (she was the giver and he was the taker), he tended to be a demanding spoiled brat of a boyfriend - he did not do this intentionally or maliciously - he was simply unaware that he was this person. It was not until years later that he realized: He wasn't the person he wanted to be; in fact, he was even further away from the person he wanted to be...all a result of the nature of their relationship. His attitude, his career, etc were all slipping away - far from how he pictured them to be. Although his girlfriend was a generous and accepting person, he wasn't an inspired person and it was then that he realized that for both of their sakes, he couldn't continue this pattern...i.e. this relationship.


I spoke to him recently and it had been a little while before he found another girlfriend. He has been with his current girlfriend for 2 years now and he said that this girlfriend is the one =). In his current relationship, no one person is a taker; no one person is a giver - both of them give and take and he says that he is inspired everyday to be a kind person filled with motivation. It appears to me that he now has a balanced healthy relationship. Most importantly, he loves the person he had become the last couple of years.




It wasn't that his earlier girlfriend was a horrible person; he pointed out bluntly that she wasn't. There is just something about his latter relationship that inspires him to be a better person. Again, sometimes it's not the person you're with; sometimes it's who YOU tend to be as a result of that person's company.